(no subject)

another day, another trip to the hospital in bremerton. I hate having to come back up here, and leave mom down there alone with him. Not knowing is just killing her. You can see it in her face. It looks like she’s aged 10 years since I saw her last. At lease jan is on her way over now. That will help so much.

I wonder, would I want to be kept alive if there was no brain activity? Could it be some happy place, where life is good, and then someone just pulls the plug? for mom, I can’t believe that. I wouldn’t believe it anyway. The body and the brain are electrical.

It’s so damn frustrating. I have these thoughts that I want to explore, but always when I’m driving, or sitting somewhere. Then someone talks to me, or some jerk cuts me off, and it’s gone. Will it come back? probably not. Not for another 5 or 10 years. then it will be some new amazing thing, and some asshole will cut me off again.