This is A Test, this is only a test

This is A Test, this is only a test

So this isn’t a real entry, obviously. I just wanted to post this picture that someone sent me that someone else ripped off from MySpace.com.

(c) to whomever it belongs to, etc. ad nauseum.

I guess I’ll have to post it at 360’s pictures thingy, too, since the blog one makes it too small to read.

It is with a heavy heart (and oddly enough, heavy eyelids) that I compose this particular post. This weekend, you see, Ive suffered a loss that has struck particularly close to home.

In reflection, its amazing how quickly we became attached. We met at a quick-stop, while I was working. I just stopped to fill up my van, unplanned and awkward as it was, it was still a love that just seemed to fit..

In very short order, we were spending all of our free time together. It started with some casual disc golf, maybe catching a race together on the weekend. Then we were working together. In the past, I had always set some sort of boundary between my personal life and work, but I couldnt help myself this time.

Its hard to romanticize crawling around in the dirt and cobwebs under mobile home, or working way up on a power pole in the freezing rain, but we did it together. Motorcycle Riding course in February? Crazy, but we went together. Midnight movie openings when you have to work the next day? Nuts and irresponsible, but we went together. You just cant find that kind of bond very often these days.

You get used to that kind of connection. Waking up next to each other, and ending the day side by side.

Its difficult to contemplate going to work tomorrow by myself. Im not quite sure how to deal with it. The promise of meeting again someday helps me carry on.

Well, that and remembering that I can buy a NEW hat tomorrow, until I can get my old one back from Y & A in a couple weeks.

August 20th 2006

I can’t stand it when I want something, but can’t quite figure out what it is I want. And no, that’s not a metaphor for my life… at least not a conscious one. I’m still full from a big dinner, but I’ve got this snack urge. Probably from the ride home with a ferry full of pot heads. Thanks Hemp-Fest.

There’s not enough ice-cream to justify getting a bowl dirty. Not enough Doritos to make it worth getting the bag down from waaaaay up on that shelf. I know, I’m fat, I don’t need that crap anyway. I should just go to bed, but now I’m not tired. Why did I even have to bring up the whole life metaphor thing? Now my brain is going to go into overdrive in a thousand different directions, and my fingers will stop working, leaving yet another dead-end blog post. I’d better be careful, or I’m going to loose BOTH my readers.

So anywho… Let’s see… adventures for the day… We got to sleep in, which is always nice. Went over to Seattle to hang out with good friends (Hello A & Y {who will also remain unamed in this blog, hahahaha}), and watched “Accepted,” which was hilarious. Then to a couple different Half-Price Books, and dinner, and then Fry’s and the aforementioned ferry ride home. I should probably take a second here and comment on Yahoo!’s easy input of all these hyperlinks. I should also maybe avoid telling anyone that for my first few posts, I was actually editing the source code, and putting in the links myself because I didn’t bother to look at how the blog entry thingy worked. haha. What a dumbass I were.

Where was I? Oh, yeah. direction of life, et cetera. Um… Insightful observations anyone? This blog stuff does have comments available, you know… It isn’t just a one-way street.

I spent a bit of time last week reading up on Seattle history. I caught a blurb in a book about the “denny regrade” which kind of piqued my interest, so I decided to do a little research. The Wiki entry for Seattle History was informative, well written, but also could still use some fleshing out. I also found HistoryLink.org, which is this Washington State History encyclopedia online. HistoryLink also has these “tours,” which of course aren’t really tours, but are walking self-guided tours of historical areas and such. (I suppose you don’t have to walk, you could drive, but it would be a bit tricky going inside certain buildings in your car… ) I also read about the Bogue Plan, which would have created this beautiful park system in Seattle and the surrounding areas, and built a mass transit system from Everett to Tacoma. Of course, they’re doing that now, but imagine how much money they would have saved if they had done that in 1910.

Okay, now I know I had some sort of subject or another when I started this thing. Must be around here somewhere.. oh, yeah. life, direction, that sort of whatsits…. So, we start out as the product of two people, who sometimes go their separate ways for whatever reason, and we’re influenced by our environment, and we grow and learn and change, and striving for our own vision of utopia, and (for the most part) unaware of our disingenuousness. So do you live today worrying about tomorrow, or do you work towards tomorrow and ignore today? Is there balance to be achieved somewhere? Where am I going with this? (the line of thought, not as as a metaphor… what is it with you people?)

Oh, okay.. So the whole comparison with Seattle was that even though you may not always have an end goal or plan or whatever, that doesn’t mean you can’t be happy. You don’t have to strictly adhere to “7 Habits” or “Who Moved my Cheese” or any other such nonsense. The meandering history of a place like Seattle (or any other major American city, with a few notable exceptions) is really comparative to the meandering history of any individual. To be 25 or 30 or even 60 years old, and not know what you want to do when you grow up isn’t necessarily some sort of curse of indecision. Maybe it’s a blessing of open-mindedness. The ability to say “this sucks, I think I need to try something else” is ( in my humble opinion) an awesome personal power.

That’s not to say that I (or you, or anybody) might not be happier had someone else made the choices, and pointed the directions. But that’s the wonderful thing about being human. We CAN’T change the past. We’re stuck with it. Love it or hate it, you can’t ever loose it. And it’s our past that creates who we are. If you spend al
l your time planning for the future, guess what you’re going to be doing when “the future” finally gets here? You’ll have spent so many years planning, you won’t know how to be comfortable doing anything else.

Try to be happy Here. Now. No matter your situation. Remember that you’ve had worse days. And when some stinky stupid stoner who hasn’t showered in a week won’t stop throwing his superball so his big drooly neglected dog can chase it ON THE FERRY, ALL THE DAMN WAY FROM SEATTLE TO BREMERTON, while you’re trying to quietly read your book, and the clueless WSF Deckhand won’t pay attention, then you can not loose your temper, and continue to quietly read your book. Somehow, somewhere, the universe will catch up with people like that, and they will have to endure something equally as painful. Besides, if throwing a superball so your big drooly neglected dog can chase it on the ferry is all you have in life, then maybe, just maybe, you’ve already been put in your place a time or two. Or maybe your just an asshole, I’m not sure.

Thanks once again to Google Image Search for helping me find the picture, and to Cawdor Kennels for having the picture up in the first place.

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